Response to "Curtis and Deangelo"

“Curtis and Deangelo” seems to be about two men, dealing with the surgery of one of their fathers.

Overall, I liked the dialogue. Curtis and Deangelo consistently come across as wisecracking tough-guys, but despite that they care about their family. They aren’t cartoon characters. I particularly like the characterization of Curtis in the beginning of the story. Mr. Berry’s lack of a reaction complements this. The contrast between Curtis and Deangelo’s gambling with their desire for their father’s safety is interesting; they are willing to gamble when it comes to themselves. I also like that the free-wheeling main characters are being forced to confront mortality through the accident.

I found clarity to be the most distracting element of this story. I am not sure what the important ideas of this story are. Deangelo loses his jacket; he later finds it. Curtis’ father needs surgery; he dies at the hospital. I could not figure out how they were related. I couldn’t figure out how Curtis and Deanglo were related, either. I’m pretty sure they were brothers, but the story is ambiguous on that count. I was confused by the narrator. The narrator was making character judgments, but it did not feel natural. I couldn’t figure out who was speaking, why they knew what they knew, or what they personality was like. I wasn’t sure who Mr. Berry was in the beginning, either.

I liked the dialogue, but several parts felt forced; it seemed like they were written to give information to the reader. We don’t really see the source of the story’s conflict until halfway through the story, and while the dialogue is overall entertaining, there isn’t much tension or escalation. The father dies two pages after the reader first hears about him; that’s only two pages, so we are only left wondering about the dad for less than a quarter of the story.

Curtis’ return to Vegas felt strange, as well. His father just died, but he goes on vacation to gamble. I think it could be plausible and actually reveal a lot about Curtis’ character, but as is it just feels off.