Response to "Beyond the Line"

The story revolves around Isaac, who is forced to choose between shelling a school and getting court martialed. He also misses his wife; he is a reluctant soldier. He also has some conflict with military culture. He does not like the private who is always underfoot, and his principles ultimately force him to defy a direct order.

I like the story’s focus. I always knew who was saying what. There were no unnecessary scenes, and the motivations of Isaac were always apparent. You pay attention to the military setting, which maintains verisimilitude. I was held in suspense for almost the entire story. I did not know if any of the characters would succeed, or even survive. You raised the stakes continually throughout the story, and it wasn’t predictable. There is little exposition, and it is almost never distracting.

Isaac doesn’t have to think much about shelling the school, so the story loses its tension once the soldiers are in place. Why is his superior so set on this mission? Why does he think it is worth killing so many civilians? Does Isaac have any reason at all to go through with the plan? After all the tension of the rest of the story, the climax doesn’t feel very climactic, mainly because all of the actors already know what they are going to do. It might help to make Isaac feel more ambiguous about the shelling. It would make him more unlikeable, but it would add depth to his character, too.

While you had little exposition, some of it felt forced. It might help to incorporate Isaac’s voice into these sections more, so it feels more like his thoughts, rather than the narrator’s.

There seem to be two independent conflicts in this story: Isaac’s separation from Sophie and the shelling of the school. They do not interact very much, and it would be interesting to see them influence each other. Would Isaac be more likely to shell the school if the court martial would separate him from Sophie? Is the thought if his family what makes Isaac so adamant?