Response to "Safe"

“Safe” describes Alexandra dealing with her own fearful nature, which she acquired from her mother. She also encounters a home invader, who turns out to be her father. Violation is a major theme of the story—it is present in her father’s breaking into her home, as well as his sexual interest in her. Fear also plays an important role in the story, as Alexandra has to overcome her desire to shrink back from the whole situation, which requires action.

I liked Alexandra’s confiding tone when she talked about her family’s past. You conveyed Alexandra’s paralyzing fear well. The image of her falling asleep while too terrified to move revealed a great deal about her character. I also had a good understanding of Alexandra’s resentment towards her mother and father. Her mother in particular seems to shadow much of her actions. The father is just disturbing. You communicate that to the reader very well. Him calling her “little one” was pretty upsetting, but was effective.

The story begins with a great deal of summary. I think the information could be conveyed more effectively by integrating it into the action of the story. Flashback might also work well. The father plays an important role in the story, but we only see him in situations where his personality is not apparent. This could give us more insight into his motives. Alexandra clearly never liked him very much, but she thought enough of him to call him after being attacked. I was never sure why he wanted to rape her.

I was unsure of Twinkle’s role in the story. I think she is a good addition to the story—I liked how Alexandra drew so much comfort from her—but you spend a fair amount of time talking about her, only to remove her from the story once the action begins. Does Twinkle’s disappearance ultimately spark Alexandra’s decision to fight back, or does it take away her will to fight?

Also, what happens for the hour and a half between Alexandra’s retreat and her father’s appearance? Does he wait by the front door? Does he watch her sleep?